5 Ways to Overcome Pride in Your Marriage
Marriage is a beautiful journey that involves two individuals coming together to share their lives, dreams, and challenges.
While the foundation of a successful marriage is built on love and commitment, the presence of pride can become a stumbling block, hindering the growth and harmony of the relationship. In this blog post, we will explore various ways to overcome pride in marriage, fostering a healthier and more fulfilling partnership.
Being Right is Not the Goal
When tension rises, we can get stuck trying to prove ourselves or our position. If we shift our focus and remind ourselves that being kind is better than being right, we often can find resolution faster. Kindness allows our best version to show up and speak with compassion and curiosity – which often opens the door to understanding way faster than yelling/demanding/talking over our spouse. We all deserve to be heard and creating a safe space to discuss our issues is the best way to cultivate a healthy communication style.
Be Curious About Your Spouse’s Perspective
Often both spouses have an element of truth in “their side” of an issue. When we are curious about how our partner arrived at their conclusion, we honor their voice and show grace for things we may have missed. Our spouses can have a different perspective and can often contribute to our conversations when we remember that our “side” is never fool-proof. When we assume there is no other option we eliminate possibilities, but even worse, we stifle our partner.
Share Your Thoughts Instead of Dismissing or Hiding Them
What do we do with our thoughts in our marriage? Do we stuff them or let them fester? Do we make assumptions about our spouse’s intention? Do we feel amotions that we choose not to share? Our brains will oftentimes convince us it is better to keep our thoughts and emotions to ourselves, but the truth is that when we do that, we can unintentionally create issues that never really exist, and then we react out of false interpretation or unfair conclusions. Voicing our expectations or worries creates an environment where both spouses understand the assignment and the goal. This fosters safety within our marriage so we can feel less tension and worry because we are expressing ourselves. Our brains can play tricks on us when we let thoughts run rampant. Finding the truth is always the answer.
Look for the Good
Our brains are wired with a ‘negativity bias’ that is designed to help protect us. Unfortunately, sometimes it can hurt us when we do not take time to take our thoughts captive. The little annoyances can often feel bigger than life when we don’t effectively notice all the good. We may start expecting all the little “niceties” instead of being vocal with our appreciation. This puts good works on display so we notice them more often. When we remember that humility creates deep love, we can filter our vision to recognize more of our spouse’s good qualities. This then encourages more good and creates a positive cycle within our marriages.
Ask for Honest Feedback
Being humble is the best posture for a solid marriage. Believing that we can always improve is the cornerstone for such humility. When we ask our partner for feedback on our behaviors and allow space for correction, the dynamic of our connection is radically changed. We then become servant-hearted to our spouse which can in-turn produce more abundant love. The pattern is clear and true – the more we share of ourselves and humbly look and accept our humanity as well as our spouse’s, the more growth, connection and vulnerability is allowed to flourish. This is the foundation of trust, and what a beautiful way to live!
Here at Atlanta Wellness Collective, we want to help. For support, contact us or request an appointment online.
This blog post was written by Michelle Parker, MAMFT.
Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.
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