Breaking Down Adoption and Mental Health
Adoption is all around us.
According to the U.S. Census, there are about 4.5 million adopted children in America, which equals approximately 7% of the population. One out of every 25 families with children includes an adopted child, and half of these have both biological and adoptive children. Somewhere between 25-40% of adopted children are of a different race, culture, or ethnicity than their adoptive parents. Many adoptive parents have already struggled with the grief and loss of infertility. Nearly 95% of domestic infant adoptions are now considered open adoptions, and 2/3 of those involve post-placement contact. Approximately 60% of children in foster care spend 2-5 years in the system before adoption. In past 20 years, international adoptions have become more restrictive and the number of international adoptions has declined. Adoption can cost anywhere between $0 and $50,000. Adoption can be beautiful, but it is always complex.
The Adoption Triad
The “adoption triad” consists of the Adoptee, First/Birth Parent(s), and Adoptive Parent(s). But often the impact of adoption extends beyond this circle to siblings, grandparents, and others in close relationship to members of the adoption triad.
Adoptees: Adoptees often do not have much say or control over whether they become removed from their birth family or connected to an adoptive family, which may or may not be of their same race, culture, or ethnicity. We know that even in the most healthy and happy of adoptions, adoptees may experience adoption/attachment trauma, developmental challenges, grief and loss, and identity issues (racial, cultural, or familial). Many adoptees also have a history of abuse, neglect, or other trauma.
First/Birth Parents: Even when a birthparent is sure that adoption is the best option for their child, adoption can be traumatic. It is a major life decision and change and can create issues of anxiety, depression, grief and loss, and identity. Birth mothers may also be experiencing medical issues associated with the pregnancy or postpartum concerns.
Adoptive Parents: Along with all the regular issues that go along with adding any new child to a family, including postpartum depression/anxiety and normative parenting concerns, adoptive parents may be facing grief and loss, attachment challenges, developmental issues, and identity issues. Some prospective adoptive parents experience a traumatic rupture of the adoption process after referral that may lead to grief and loss, depression, identity issues, or other mental health concerns.
How Can Adoption-Informed Counseling Help?
Every adoption is a unique story even though stereotypes, assumptions, and adoption myths abound. Even so, there are some common themes that adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents, prospective adoptive parents, and other family members experience that are unique to adoption and that can be addressed in therapy. A counselor can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to express your feelings and share your experiences, develop coping tools and strategies, heal from grief and loss or trauma, improve communication and relationships, identify strengths and resources, and explore decisions that you need to make.
When to Seek Adoption-Informed Counseling:
Depression, anxiety, identity concerns, attachment wounds, grief and loss, postpartum issues, parenting issues, developmental concerns, or any other mental health concerns that are related to your adoption experience.
Specific trauma associated with your adoption story.
If you are considering searching for or reuniting with birth family members.
Difficulty in navigating family relationships (whether birth family or adoptive family).
Mental health issues that are not adoption-specific, but you would like a counselor who understands the adoption process and experience.
Resources:
Adoption Triad:
Facebook Group - Adoption Triad
Facebook Group - Three Strands
Adoptee Resources:
Intercountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
First/Birth Parent Resources:
Musings of the Lame: Adoption & Birth Mothers Building Bridges to Adoption Truths
Facebook Group - Birth Mothers Unite
Adoptive Parents Resources:
Adoptive and Foster Parent Association of Georgia
Georgia Center for Resources & Support
National Council for Adoption (Resources)
Books for Siblings, Family, and Friends:
Adoption Is a Family Affair: What Relatives & Friends Must Know Patricia Irwin Johnston
In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption, A Guide For Relatives & Friends Elisabeth O’Toole
Here at Atlanta Wellness Collective, we want to help. For support, contact us or request an appointment online.
This blog was written by Jennifer Oswald.
Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.
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