Some folks are exceptionally generous with their time, resources, and care.

They often find themselves in situations where they give beyond their true capacity. One of the central issues related to this is differentiating between what is selfish and what is self-care.

To separate selfish behavior from self-care, it is important to identify what your values are and to understand the relationship in question. When it comes to sharing a resource or any form of support, consider how this form of support aligns with your values. Then, ask yourself to what degree will meeting this request support the relationship. This could be an intimate relationship, it could be a friendship, or it can be a professional relationship. There will be times when the relationship will ask more of you and other times where your boundaries shift to accommodate your individual needs.

It's a delicate balance, one that requires thoughtful consideration and self-awareness. On one hand, self-care is essential for maintaining our overall health and happiness. It involves practices and activities that recharge us, reduce stress, and promote a sense of well-being. This can include anything from meditation and exercise to indulging in our favorite hobbies or spending time with loved ones.

The key to it all? Honest reflection and communication. If you find that you are constantly stretched thin, experiencing exhaustion, compassion fatigue, or general irritability, consider pausing to reflect on what factors are contributing to this. In your analysis of your current situation, look at both the things that add stress as well as the things you would like to do that may mitigate your stress. It’s possible that you’ll need to make time to do things that are more in alignment with your values before taking on additional tasks.

Once you’ve sorted through the current situation and identified your needs, communicate that with the relevant folks in your life. Allow them to understand where you’re coming from and give you the space to recover from overcommitting. With that, you have released yourself from arbitrary expectations and you can breathe. Be sure to follow through by taking care of yourself from a holistic approach.

In essence, the line between selfishness and self-care is defined by intention and context. Self-care becomes selfishness when it's driven by a disregard for others, whereas genuine self-care is grounded in self-awareness, compassion, and a desire to maintain overall well-being – both for ourselves and for those around us.

In conclusion, finding the balance between selfishness and self-care is an ongoing journey, one that requires introspection, empathy, and a willingness to prioritize our own well-being without losing sight of the needs of others. By approaching self-care with intention and mindfulness, we can foster a healthier, more compassionate relationship with ourselves and with those around us.

Here at Atlanta Wellness Collective, we want to help. For support, contact us or request an appointment online.

This blog post was written by Danielle Dunkley, PhD, LPC, NCC, ACS.

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

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