How to Connect More Deeply in 5 Easy Ways
Expressing our true feelings can be a scary and vulnerable thing, and all of us desire to be heard and validated.
Often in relationships, expressing deep emotions can push people apart when they long to be truly seen. Below is a simple guide on how to respond to our loved ones when they reach out to us for connection.
Say what you see
When we see our loved one showing emotion, especially deep emotions, they are putting it out on a “silver platter” for us to see. Our best first response is to say what you see.
“Hey, I can see that you are upset right now.”
“You know, it looks like you are feeling anxious.”
“I am noticing that you look really sad right now.”
Empathize
Empathy is one of the hardest relational moves we can make because it requires us to often deny ourselves for a moment. When we pause to truly place ourselves in the shoes of another, and imagine what they are experiencing, it can be a powerful and connecting move.
“You know what? I’d be sad too if that happened to me.”
“Hey, it makes sense that you are anxious. I get anxious when I have all that on my plate.”
“I feel scared when I have to take on something new and I don’t feel sure about myself.”
Normalize
When we feel deeper emotions, we often feel alone or that we’re wrong or bad for feeling this way. One of the best steps toward connection can be to help your loved one know that what they experience is often felt by others.
“You know what? It’s normal to feel this way.”
“This is our body’s way of trying to help us or signal to slow down.
“Hey, lots of people experience this.”
Be Present
When we feel alone in our emotions, it can contribute to our negative emotional experience. When a loved one is experiencing deep emotions, one of the most impactful moves that we can make is to help them know they’re not alone. We can help them not only see our presence but feel it deeply.
“I don’t want you to have to feel sad alone. I’m here with you.”
“I want to be here with you while you’re feeling anxious.”
“If you’re feeling scared, I want to be here with you so that you don’t have to do this alone.”
Help
Another powerful move when feeling and expressing big/deep emotions is to know that the people that matter most to us care enough to help. Often, what we really need in those moments, can only be met by the ones that matter most to us. Offering support, help, and comfort is a pivotal move in connecting with others.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“I’d love to be a support for you. What can I do to help?”
“What do you need from me right now while you’re feeling sad?”
You can can apply these steps to your relationships today. Finding new ways to validate each other in relationships can be the key to connecting deeply.
If you’re finding connection difficult in the relationships that matter most to you, one of our counselors would love partner with you. Here at Atlanta Wellness Collective, we want to help. For support, contact us or request an appointment online.
Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to substitute professional therapeutic advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your health concerns and before starting or stopping therapies. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct professional advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.
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